BorderLands Bash

Aggro sat on his bed, weeping manly tears of joy. He stared happily at his life-size edition of Zero, the assassin from Borderlands 2. Today was the day he would meet the creators. To any normal person, it was a regular thing, but to Aggro and the others, it was the 2nd coming of God. He dressed in the finest tuxedo; the one he complained was too itchy. He then proceeded to stand in front of the cutout of Zero and hum the Borderlands soundtrack. He finished his "salute" and went out to meet the others. Rabs was wearing a Salvador costume while NiCad wore a Zero costume. NiCad gritted his teeth wildly and his bloodshot eyes darted rapidly. "What the hell is wrong with him?" said Aggro as he stared at his friend. "He said he is trying to stop drinking before he meets the Borderlands team, not taking it well" said Rabs as he pulled out a set of handcuffs. The three piled into the car and drove to the mall.

"We have to leave NiCad in the car for a little' said Rabs as he locked the door. "The team doesn't come for an hour" Suddenly, a slobbering NiCad slammed his head against the horn. "Just come on" said Aggro "We have to prepare ourselves" They spent minutes perfecting each other. The two wiped themselves carefully just in case of left behind "Crosby kids" and ate a light meal of greasy pretzel sticks and lemonade. Finally, the time had come. Nerds began to wander towards the center of the mall, like moths to light. The two were heading a different way around the frenzy. "Rabs, what do you think they are like?" said Aggro as they ducked between snack carts. He pictured them as golden winged gods descending the sky, carrying a sword of stainless bronze. They then would carry them away and together they would fight Pandora's monsters.  Suddenly, a loud rumble broke Aggro's thoughts. A pile of nerds had found the secret way and were now trailing toward them. "Run!" screamed Rabs and the two raced down the halls, screaming loudly.
In the car, NiCad was mumbling and tossing his head around. Then, his fuzzy brain remembered something: the spare key. He ripped open the armrest cover with his fingers and pulled out a key. Then, using his mouth started the ignition. The car roared to life and took off toward the mall.

Aggro panted heavily as he raced through the stores. The nerd wave had grown 10x the size and had gathered speed. Suddenly, Rabs slipped and fell, bringing Aggro down with him. The two lay in pain as the mob swelled forward. "Well, this is it" said Rabs as he held Aggro tight. The two screamed in horror, then in shock as a blue car crashed through the wall and plowed into the nerds. Aggro and Rabs were caught on the hood as the car plowed through the mall. It thundered through snack carts and cell phone stores, causing a mess of chips and AT&Ts. Then, the car swerved and slammed into a store. Broken glass and metal stands flew across the floor. The store was, in fact, the place where the Borderlands 2 were staying. Aggro immediately leapt from the hood and began kissing their feet. "Don't cast me away for my sins, Great Ones" sobbed Aggro as he grabbed onto the ankles of the crew. "Oh, we are the sound effects team" said a man. Aggro stopped in shock. "You just missed the others" he said, confused. Aggro stared at them and then returned to the car. Then, he drove forward in rage.

"Well, we are kicked out of the mall for life" said Aggro as he drove the battered car onto the highway. "Too bad we didn't see the others" said Rabs as he looked at the the chained NiCad in the back. "Yeah, a shame" said Aggro. Then, he saw the official bus drive past. "Floor it" said Rabs. Aggro slammed his foot on the pedal and a moment later, the car disappeared into the night.